what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Randomize
