She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
