my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Randomize
