I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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