My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
