She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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