Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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