i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
