So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
