Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
