Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
