Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Randomize
