I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Randomize
