I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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