I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
