She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
