I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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