Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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