Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
