Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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