I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
