Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
