Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
