girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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