I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
