The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
