i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
