I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
