I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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