Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I have fence marks all over my body
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
