I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
