I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
