maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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