high people should be assigned attendants
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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