I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
