If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Let's get the cat blown out
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
