What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
