well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
