They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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