I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
