help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
