why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
