Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
