garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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