There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
