sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
