You can't motorboat a personality
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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