David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
