Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
