Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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