Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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