I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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