I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i just google imaged poop.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
