these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Randomize
